Checking in

I haven't blogged since I shared my news so I wanted to check in.  I have been doing as well as can be expected, I think.  I have been so emotional and missing Harper so much.  Tears falling so much easier than they have in a while.  I know that this pregnancy won't be easy but I just wish that I could live in the naive state that I did with Harper.  Back when I just assumed everything would work out the way it was supposed to.  Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that this is not how my life works.  I am so worried that something will happen to Pooh Bear, that my body will mess this up, too.  I suppose it is normal to feel this way after all that we have been through but it is so hard.

I go in for my first official appointment this Tuesday, the 8th.  I am excited and nervous all at the same time.  I hope our little Pooh is thriving and we get some good measurements and dates.  As of right now, my due date is set for September 20th...10 days before Harper's due date.  I am comforted and also a little freaked out by the fact that Pooh is following big sister's timeline.  I feel like it is Harper's way of giving her blessing.  I also realize that reaching milestones will be more difficult, especially around my birthday and Harper's...if we make it that far.

I have been feeling very pregnant, so that it definitely reassuring.  Being so nauseated has never made me so happy!

I am trying to accept that whatever the outcome is this time around, it is not up to me.  I have to learn to let go...easier said than done!  I will continue to do the best that I can for this little one and send all of the hope and positive energy I can muster to my little Pooh Bear.