Monday, June 25, 2012

Harper's 2nd birthday in Heaven

It is so hard to believe that two years have past since Harper Grace came into our lives and then left us so suddenly. I still have days when I can't believe that this is my life -- that I have a baby who is no longer of this world.  It is such an unnatural thing to live through and I find that it still catches me off guard at times, especially in June.  

When our loss was so fresh I couldn't imagine ever making it two years without her.  I would receive messages from other mommies who had been in our club for a year, two, etc and I just didn't know how they did it.  I had such a hard time seeing the hope that one day I would laugh again and be truly happy.  Now I am that mom and it is very surreal at times.  Norah has healed my heart in so many ways but there is still a sadness and longing for my first born.  Our lives were forever changed the day we held our angel for the first and last time.  That day seems like it should feel so far away but for me it feels like only yesterday.  

For Harper's 2nd birthday I wanted to do something a little different than my blanket making project last year.  I wanted to donate something to our hospital's bereavement services that I wish that I had had the foresight to do for Harper when she passed away.  Another special tangible keepsake since most of us never feel we have enough of those for our babies.  When Norah was born we took hand and foot molds and they are so special to me and of course, I wish we had the same for Harper.  So I decided that is what we would donate this year.  We donated 10 kits. It is comforting to be able to give something back in her honor in hopes that it will help another grieving family in their most difficult time.    

I read this poem at Harper's balloon release last year and reading it still brings tears to my eyes.  I think it is so beautiful so I wanted to share it again. 

Look For Me In Rainbows 
by Vicki Brown

Time for me to go now, I won't say goodbye;

Look for me in rainbows, way up in the sky.

In the morning sunrise when all the world is new,
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

Time for me to leave you, I won't say goodbye;

Look for me in rainbows, high up in the sky.

In the evening sunset, when all the world is through,
Just look for me and love me, and I'll be close to you.

It won't be forever, the day will come and then

My loving arms will hold you, when we meet again.

Time for us to part now, we won't say goodbye;

Look for me in rainbows, shining in the sky.

Every waking moment, and all your whole life through
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

Just wish me to be near you,

And I'll be there with you.

Of course her day wouldn't be complete without a balloon release.  We released six pink balloons into the Heavens for our baby girl and we celebrated Harper's short but meaningful life as she has touched so many.  We may have only held her in our arms for a short while but she will remain in our hearts for always.

Norah is wearing a sweet Piglet and Pooh one piece in honor of big sister. 

I love this song and have been listening to it a lot lately.  It makes me think of Harper and of all of her angel friends that are gone from this world too soon.  I know my sweet girl is near and watching over us but I wish I could just hold her one more time and kiss her sweet face again.  I find comfort in knowing that day will come and until then I will look for her in rainbows.  


Caroline said...

Miss you. Miss Harper. What a beautiful family she has - you honor her in so many ways. We prayed for her and you all today. I shared her pictures with my mom and told her the story behind the "I love you" sign. Will continue to hold Harper in my heart all my life.

Dana said...

Thought of you and Harper a lot yesterday. 2 years is so surreal. I remember in the early days after Jacob was born, I would look at people who were a year or two out from their loss and be amazed at how well they were doing and that their smiles were geniune. I never thought I would get there, but it happens.

It is such a nice idea to donate the hand and foot molds to the hospital. I wish we had one for Jacob and I know lots of families will always cherish them.

That poem is beautiful and I know that Harper knows how much she is loved and missed.

rebecca said...

Thought of you guys often yesterday, our stories are so similar. I love what you guys did in her honor, such a beautiful way to remember your precious girl and make the world a better place.

Angela said...

I can't believe it's been two years. Sweet, sweet Harper, you are so missed and loved. I think it's wonderful you donated hand and food molds in her memory. Our molds of Charlotte's hands and feet are so precious to us.

Drew's Parents said...

What a special day for Harper. I love all of the things that you did in her memory. You and your girls were on my mind and in my heart Monday. It's hard to comprehend two years without our little ones. I know that Harper is always close and watching over her family. Happy second birthday, beautiful girl. You are forever loved and missed! xoxo

LauraJane said...

Tears for you momma. Two years. It's unbelievable...

Great that you donated the mold kits to the hospital- another family will cherish those for always.

xox momma.

Crystal said...

Hugs, hugs and more hugs!

Hannah Rose said...

Happy 2nd Heavenly Birthday, Harper. <3

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