Monday, March 14, 2011

Conversation with M, Faces of Loss & Prayers...

I had a very nice conversation with a registered nurse, who I will call M, from our insurance company last Thursday.  She called to let me know that she had been assigned 'my case' and will be checking on me periodically through out my pregnancy- checking on my physical and emotional health and answering any questions that I may have- as a new service that is being provided through our insurance.

During our conversation she asked the usual happy pregnancy questions.  It went a little like this...

M: Is this your first pregnancy?
Me: No.  
M: Ok, so your second?
Me: Well, actually my third.
M: Oh!  So you have 2 little ones running around?!?
Me: Not exactly, we lost our daughter last summer shortly after her birth and I had a blighted ovum in October.  
M: Oh my, I am so sorry.  How terrible.  (awkward silence)
Me: Thank you, it has been a really hard year.  

M was really very sweet and went on to ask me how we have been coping and asked about our support system.  She told me that she was a labor and delivery nurse for years and though not through personal experience, she has seen a lot of loss.  She said she always wondered what happened when those patients went home without their babies.  I thought I would spare her the hard, depressing details and just told her that it has been a really hard year.  She then asked what types of resources I had found and I told her that I had found a lot of support online, mostly through blogs, BBC and  Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. She had not heard of FoL FoH and was eager to check it out.  We finished up our conversation, she gave me her direct number and told me to call anytime I needed anything.

Then Friday, with a lot of worry on my mind about the FDA approval of Makena (17P), the progesterone shots that I will begin in less than 3 weeks to help prevent another preterm delivery, I called M and asked her what she knew about coverage through our insurance and if Makena would be accessible.  She was still not sure on the coverage and pricing but that she would fight to get this drug for me if she had to.  She was going to get in touch with her supervisor and let me know the details.  I still haven't heard a definitive answer from her but it is good to know that I have some one in my court.

Before we said goodbye, she told me that she checked out the website, FoL FoH, and loved it!  I told her a little about how the site got started and that it has been a great place to make connections and to know that through all of the pain that comes with losing a child, that we are not alone.  So...M just so happens to be on the website committee for our insurance company and is going to put in a request for FoL FoH to be put on their website as an online resource for patients who have experienced the loss of an infant.  I was very excited to hear this as hopefully even more people will find the help and support that is so needed after experiencing the loss of their child.

Please take a minute to send some prayers and love to my sweet friend, Caroline, who recently lost her brother-in-law, Daren, to an IED (improvised explosive device) in Afghanistan.  She and her husband, Miles, and their families have had an extremely hard year as they (Caroline & Miles) lost their first born son, Cale, last June and now they have had to say goodbye to Daren- a true American hero and someone else who is gone too soon.

As many of us in the loss community know, even the smallest gesture of kindness goes such a long way.  So, please go over and show your love and support.  


Dana said...

Wow, that conversation with the nurse was great. And you got a chance to mention Harper, which is always nice. I love that she is so pro-active, is working to find out about the P17 and about getting FOLFOH on their website.

I'm so sorry to hear about Daren. I'll stop by Caroline's blog and leave a message.

Mary said...

Wow! What a great person! I can't believe your insurance company has a service like that.

I too will stop by and give Caroline some very sad for her anad her family.

rebecca said...

That is an awesome service your insurance company is providing & it's wonderful you got the opportunity to pass on the info about FolFoh!

I'm so sorry to hear of Daren's death and all Caroline's family has had to cope with this past year.

Drew's Parents said...

I am so sorry for your friend Caroline. What a devastating year they have had. <3
M sounds absolutely amazing. I am so glad that you have that resource, and that this nurse is proving to be such an advocate.

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