Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Thoughts on Mother's Day

I am not really sure what to say about Mother's Day.  It was a bittersweet emotional day, more emotional than I had anticipated.  Happy and hopeful for a growing Pooh who is more and more active daily but also sad and missing Harper.  It is amazing, this dance between joy and sorrow.

I woke up to the most beautiful, heartfelt card from my husband, at the end he signed it "father of our two girls" and that just melted my heart.   I received texts, cards and phone calls from family and friends letting me know that they were thinking of me on Mother's Day.  It felt good to be remembered and acknowledged as a mother even though one of my children is in Heaven and one grows inside my belly.

I was honored to be a part of a very special project for Mother's Day, The Mama Project.  A local photographer wanted to do something special to honor mothers like me; mothers who have had to say good bye to their sweet babies too soon, mothers who are very much mothers but do not always get acknowledged on Mother's Day. It turned out to be a really lovely day of chatting with other BLMs and getting the chance to tell a few more people about my Harper.

Jessica, the photographer, wanted us to bring something meaningful that reminded us of our angels.  So I chose to bring along Piglet.  After all, she has been my "Harper surrogate" since I came home from the hospital without my baby; going on trips with us, getting cuddled on tearful nights and bringing more comfort than a stuffed animal probably should bring to an adult. :) It was such an amazing experience to be able to sit in a room (without judgement) and just talk about my (our) journey through grief, loss and love of the little girl who made me a mama and who paved and continues to pave the way for her baby sister, Pooh.  Please head over and check out the beautiful photo essay, The Mama Project. 

I hope that everyone had a gentle and loving Mother's Day.


Drew's Parents said...

The pictures of you on the mama project brought tears to my eyes. She was able to capture so much of your love and emotion for sweet Harper. Amazing photos...I am glad that you were able to participate in such a great project. I have been thinking about, Harper and Pooh Bear so much. My heart is with you all! <3

PS. The week before Drew died, my parents had bought him a stuffed tigger toy. When I came home from the hospital, I held onto that tigger night after night. The toy is nearly the same size as Drew, and that brought me so much comfort. Tigger still sits on my night stand next to Drew's picture and will be going to the hospital with me on Tuesday <3

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