Monday, August 16, 2010

Safe..

This past weekend hubby and I went on a much needed mini vacation to Atlanta. Nice hotel, good food, great nightlife and shopping. Thankfully there weren't many triggers in hoity toity Buckhead and we really enjoyed ourselves.

All last week leading up to our getaway I was looking forward to our trip but on friday when we left the house, I had a pit in my stomach. I felt like I was abandoning Harper. I couldn't bring her things with me and it made me sick. I found myself looking through her memory box and having a little talk with her. Telling her how much we loved her and that we would be back in a couple of days. I just felt like we were leaving her behind.

Before we left the house, we locked her memory box in the safe. Right next to my pearls, our laptop and a few guns. I kept thinking how messed up is this?? Instead of keeping my baby safe in my arms or my tummy, I am locking her in a freakin' safe. Mommies are supposed to protect their babies, not lock them in a safe! I hated leaving her. That memory box is all I have...all of the tangible momentos that I will ever have of Harper's life. If something ever happened to that box, I don't know what I would do. I started worrying about fires or break-ins. I know that the safe is fire proof and burgler proof but I still worried.

Harper's piglet doll made the journey to Atlanta. I figured I could get away with that without coming across as too crazy. It is just a stuffed animal, after all. I think piglet will be tagging along on lots of trips...might need to get her a passport. :)

The weekend came and went and we made it home on Sunday afternoon. It is so, so good to be home and to be back with my baby girl. I know that she is always with me but I feel closest to her when I am here.

1 comments:

Olivia's Mom said...

So glad you were able to get away and enjoy a weekend together in Atlanta! I love that you took Harper's piglet doll with you. I've thought about doing that with Olivia's stuffed animal camel (my husband bought it for her while deployed in Afghanistan) with us when we travel. I have yet to do it, because I worried about losing it, but you have inspired me. Thank you! If we can't have our baby girls with us, at least we can have a little hint of them to hold to...

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