Saturday, September 25, 2010

Clarifying...

I just wanted to clarify my last post.  I went back and read it and thought maybe I came across wrong.

It is not that I want to forget the day that Harper was born, it is just that the memories of it are so painful to bear sometimes.  I do have times when I think back to that day and smile. I still can't believe that we created the most perfect little angel.  She was so beautiful and precious, our baby girl.  It was a special day...a precious day, but it will go down in history for me as the saddest day because we didn't get to bring our girl home.  It was a day full of love and devastation.  I have said it before, but I would go through every last bit of pain and fear again if this was the only way I was meant to be her momma.  I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could just hold her and kiss her one more time.

4 comments:

Drew's Parents said...

There are so many conflicting feelings wrapped up in the days surrounding our babies' births. You are such a wonderful mommy to sweet Harper, and your love for her is so apparent in the ways you write about and remember her. I wonder if as we try to find our new normal, the pain surrounding those days will subside and only the beautiful memories of holding our babies will remain. I am hoping that is what happens. I would give anything to hold Drew again, but the awful emotional pain we have experienced from the time we found out he died is haunting.
I am thinking about you and your precious Harper today. <3 <3 <3

Jessica said...

(((hugs)))

butterflymom said...

Dear Rhiannon,
I hope that you are always given the kind of support you need and deserve. I wish you didn't feel like you had to clarify what you are feeling. I get the idea of wanting to erase the memories of that day and that time in order to avoid the pain of remembering... It's haunting and so terrible. I wish that none of us had to feel this pain...and instead were holding our babies in our arms and living with them here on Earth as most do. Hugs to you, hun, for being brave and sharing your story. Thinking about you and Harper today and always.

Ethansmommy said...

Hi Rhiannon,

I just found your blog, thanks to Angela at Little Bird. The day our babies are born will be forever a day of mixed emotions, I don't think it could ever be any other way. We lost our babies in the same month, our Ethan was born June 11th 2010. His birth will always be one of awe and sadness for me. He was so perfect, all our little ones were so amazing. If only things could have gone differently. Thanks for all you do. Love and Hugs!

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